MY BATTLE WITH PSYCH MEDS

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DragonsChest
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I am battling the side effects of my psych medicines again, and it seems worse than the last time.  I take around 5 different meds for my PTSD.  The main drug is Resperidol.  Taking it changes my vision, causes me to lose my balance, gives me memory problems, makes me restless where I have to pace around the house, and twitching or shaking of the legs.  The next drug is Gabapentin, and it causes dry mouth, weakness, and weight gain.  Then their is Cogentin which can cause hallucinations, uncontrollable twitching of the extremities, and nausea.  The next drug is Klonopin, which can cause pounding heartbeats, slurred speech, and  diarrhea.  
This is what I live with every day.  When I threaten to stop taking them, I get told that I will  wind up back in the psych hospital, and  worsen my chances of ever getting my job back.  My wife has gone ahead and applied for permanent disability, as it becomes clearer and clearer that I might not work again.  This is why I haven't been around here as often as I would like, but deviantART is like a second home to me, and I am blessed to have such good friends here.  I think without deviantART I would end up committing suicide or at least try.  That is how much my life stinks right now.  I just pray to god that no one has to go through this the way I have.  I've lost my job, and am losing the ability to care for my family.  Becky is a big help and I don't know what I would do without her.  
I will not be on here everyday, but will do my best to at least fave and run.  I have so much to catch up on.  I am finding my muse again, so hopefully I will have some poetry to share this month.  I will continue to have the Award Of Excellence, and all of the other features you see on my page.  Thank you to all my friends and watchers, you mean the world to me...

 My continued prayers to my friend Samira, Birgit, Dee, Chas, Selina, and Flori :pray:

To my friends and watchers I wish you a wonderful and prosperous week ahead... :icontimmy64plz:

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MUSIC VIDEO OF THE WEEK


BOOK OF THE MONTH-MOVIE OF THE WEEK
THE POE SHADOW by YeOlDragonStock The Raven 150x150 by Luis-Bello KEEPING THE FAITH by YeOlDragonStock


THE WEEK IN REVIEW

Portrait 07 by Rssfim Alien... by Tigles1Artistry Fairy in the Grass by annewipf A Vivid Display by Thelma1 Rococo Melancholia by PhilipHarvey White Flame by Maya92 Hope by AStoKo Allone 2015 by nudagimo MOCHA AND GINGER'S PICNIC by Heather-Chrysalis Heaven Bird by RainKacper Bath Time by PridesCrossing ...Big Eyes... by ArinaFoxy:thumb545169143::thumb544292196: Leszy by Sigarth Nightwalk by Miarath The Timeless One by RizyuKaizen:thumb546313880: Stefania by LorenzoDiMauro Chameleon by KarolDalaiSarash:thumb547005072: Lightning by LlaeLaps Sea dress by ElenaDudina:thumb547722910: Forbidden Fruit by Black-B-o-x


IN THE SPOTLIGHT
:iconparadoxchild:Martin:iconparadoxchild:
Dinner by paradoxchild Bryce by paradoxchild Big Bend II by paradoxchild Grand View by paradoxchild Zion - Vista by paradoxchild Zion - Big Bend by paradoxchild NYC Dash 16 by paradoxchild NYC Dash 14 - Dr. Cornel West by paradoxchild NYC Dash 10 by paradoxchild NYC Dash 6 by paradoxchild New York City-Seaport by paradoxchild B A L L P O I N T by paradoxchild


POETRY CORNER

:iconblacksand459: Tulips for You by KmyGraphic :iconblacksand459:

County FairThe easy-laughing, roughneck farm boys,
Darkened tans the color of railroad ties.
Strolling the county fairs on July nights
With their girls and their buds.
Carrying on the traditions
Year after year.
From the North and South,
To the East and West,
They arrive in their pickups and hotrods
For an evening under the stars.
Adrift in the scents of popcorn and elephant ears,
A hint of diesel from the Cat gennies in their trailers,
And the co-mingling of aftershave and perfume.
Hear the laughing shrieks from the Tilt-a-Whirl
And the thousand conversations, flowing together
In a comfortable noise, a hum as familiar as
Whirring blades in June. Andromeda
Here in the eternal green
of the Andromeda Airport Lounge
we fly the galactic skies
sit back and relax
have some coffee or juice
we are glad to have you here
all is well over there
outside the windows it is Sunday
it is always pleasant
we...there is a scri...
we ruh, ruhh
there is nowhere to hide
all the fragrance smells like jet fuel
and styrofoam roses
in a naked house
where the people are cardboard
and there are only lights and wires
in the naked house
and the neighbors were warned
that no one was home
no one was ever home
there
herrr...he..re re re
don't you want to you
go to here you
don't
wel An  om A Lo nge
we have you 759That long stretch
the long sound
sailing into the nightwaves
into the neon blue fire
of the Vegas Strip
into the black macadam highway
in the cold desert
the chilled midnight air of freedom
and a six pack of Schlitz
riding beside you
on that vinyl airframe
that radio dial on souper jazz
rolling into the 759 stretch
of 1000 Octane Boost
set to dynamite your life
right out from under your righteous smile
and see the dawn to-morrow my friend
cause right now
you got miles to roll baby
you got distance to travel
you got's to get there, man
well, where you goin' anyway?
"do you know, where you're going to
do you like the things that life is showing you
where are you going to
do you know?"
once you reach the Terminal Station
where the road no longer lives on
and the lights are dead
and the crows eat corn
that Jimmy cracked
then...
man, it's all 759 from here on out
it's high-powered soul
on the night train baby
the engineer is Ransom Jack
and he a dangerous fellow
oh yeah
he run that b Summer Eveningone drop on the lip of a cup
poised between water and land
flood or drought
A maple tree evening
darkness settling
that familiar curtain
on a gentleman's sunset walk
lowering over the baseball game
that lives in the radio
the roar of exuberance and joy
living in the radio waves
hardwood floors
hard barefoot heel thumping
thrilling to that effervescent spritz feeling
after leaving a shower, wrapped in a towel
in boyhood summer eventide
as a dry, Nebraska-voiced narrator
as sturdy a foundation like the naval grey cinder block walls
of an elementary school
briefs us comfortably on news of the day
we travel to far-flung lands
the Horn of Africa as birds fly across whitecaps
and it is a sturdy background to the evaporating water
of my shower-warmed skin
outside, it is legendary
the oaks, hickories, maples, and elms
stand quietly, measuring the sun on his track
against their internal clocks
which run deep into the earth
they note the passersby on this dirt road
not far from town at al
THE JUNK DRAWER



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She is a bringer of riches and wealth.
She lives in forests of oak and lime trees.
She is only seen in the enchanted moment between sleep and waking.
She decorates herself with leaves and berries. She has gentle green wings like a butterfly.


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Thelma1's avatar
Thelma1
I'm so sorry you're having to struggle again dear David, I wish only the best for you, and you're always in my thoughts :huggle:

Sorry to be soooo late getting here, but thank you for featuring my work, it is always greatly appreciated :thanks::heart:
By the way, when you feature me, your journal never shows in my 'mentions'. It isn't that important as I get your journals in my message center anyway, but thought you might like to know. I've no idea why this happens :shrug:

Take care my lovely friend :huggle::blowkiss: